6:02 p.m. - 2009-10-26
something
i have had the flu for the past two weeks. it has been a total drag. i was sick for a few days, felt better, and then wham, got hit with it harder. my husband has it too. i've been lucky though...i do not have to work and can sleep during the day.

i also have been diagnosed as being lactose intolerant. again, total drag. i love cheese. i especially love cheese dip. i also love french onion dip. both are now off the menu.

i was stalking with facebook earlier and found more pictures of steve's fat wife. i fucking love that she's fat. she posted a picture of him that was great. a picture which I looked at with longing. if i remember, i will post it at the bottom of this entry. (i just posted the pic and started laughing. he looks very gay in his pink shirt) i am married to a great man. i love him with every fiber of my being. he is smart, stable (financially anyway - sometimes I wonder about mentally - but what mentally stable person would have married me??) and loves me in return...but it will always be steve that rocks my gypsy soul. i have seen steve maybe twice in a decade and still the mention of his name makes me take a quick breath.

i love the song "something" by the beatles. i have been playing it on beatles rockband with the boys lately.

i love the line "something in the way she moves, attracts me like no other lover."

i know that is how my husband feels about me. i know it. he not only says it but I can feel it. he loves me like no one else ever has. honestly, i know he loves me more than i love him. i love him. but i don't love him in that obsessive-compulsive romeo and juliet sort of way.

i believe my C@S@ boy is going to grow up to be a sexual predator. his behavior is escalating. he has been moved to a small town now...a seriously small town...population 91. not kidding. i took his sister out to buy her a winter coat last week. she also needed a new wallet. she didn't ask for a wallet, she just asked if we could look at them. i took her to the coach store and let her pick out whatever wallet she wanted. when in high school, with a father in prison, a mother that has fried her brain on drugs and a brother that is on his way to being a child molester...i think having something nice and of quality makes a difference - or i like to think that it does. to me, being in high school is a drag all by itself.

i register for school this week. i have studied criminology all of my life on my own...figured i might as well go back to school so i can eventually get paid for it. i enjoy writing detailed reports about subdural hematomas and dissecting autopsy reports for free - but it would be wonderful to get a paycheck. i also have the time. i feel like i am wasting life right now. i am busy doing things but nothing is really satisfying. i believe registration day is thursday. class size is limited so i need to get my ass out of bed and register. if i cannot get the core classes this semester, there are many exciting electives from which to choose. my elective choices are crime analysis and introduction to forensics.

my nightmares have stopped and it is time to move on.

previous - next