5:25 p.m. - 2009-08-12
what a difference a year makes
my niece wrote in her diary entry yesterday:

"i say this more often than i ought to, but i'll say it again anyway -- i'm so struck by how much things can change in a year. the consistently unpredictable the trajectory of my own life is really something else. had anyone told me, this time last year (or any year, really) that on august 11, 2009 i would have finn (a guy whose path i truly thought i'd never cross again) sleeping in my bed as i typed a drunken diary entry with a brunette bob haircut and my best friend living in los angeles and my aunt little j married with two adorable stepsons (just to highlight a few of the kind of random and unpredictable weirdnesses that have become a part of my reality), i'd have said... hmmm... "well, who the fuck knows? life's weird." and i'd have been right. every august brings with it something old, something new, something borrowed and, uh, something else."

my niece had me start this diary two years ago in august for this very reason...that you never know where you will be a year from now. two years ago when i started writing i was still a fucking emotional mess about jerry. one year ago i met my the man that is now my husband. i left dr. s's office and the nmdp. i no longer have a paying job. i have stepchildren. so many things are different. some good, some not...really depends on the day.

working in the da's office has been an eye opener. the cases get more and more bizarre. yesterday i ended up being the victim assistance advocate on a kidnapping, aggravated robbery, aggravated restraint and theft case. there were twists and turns around every corner. i also worked the domestic violence docket on monday and a doctor i had worked with in the past popped up on it as a victim. his daughter beat the crap out of him. come to find out she is bi-polar, off her meds and was drunk. it was sad. you never know what battle someone might be fighting.

i am looking into going back to school and getting a degree in criminal justice. i have always wanted to be in that field and now have the opportunity to go to school during the day without having to worry about money. the thought of going back to school scares me. i am used to notebooks and textbooks...now everything is electronic. doc said i should just take a few classes at first and see if i like it. i can't decide between criminal justice and paralegal. i don't think paralegal will get me where i want to go.

however, i am not sure where i want to go...but i have to start somewhere.

things have been good lately. doc has worked his way out of his funk and things are going smoothly. i have never had someone love me so much. i am still having a hard time accepting it. i don't know why he loves me so much. i am not anything spectacular. but he does. he really does. we certainly have our bad days but i have had many more good days than bad. we have both had huge adjustments in the last year. he is seeing his children more. suddenly i have children...and living with someone in general can certainly be difficult.

i have been freaky emotional today. i watched two episodes of house that made me cry. wtf. probably a good thing i have therapy tonight.

cannot wait for season three of man men. cannot fucking wait.

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