2:31 p.m. - 2011-02-24
Life is Good
The job is going very well. It has really helped me psychologically. It is good for me to be out of the house and be social. I love seeing patients and running a clinic again. I forgot how good I am at it. I am used to working ENT so learning a new specialty has been challenging. I always thought working around twats would completely gross me out but it really doesn't. The stories I hear though...oh my god...the stories. People have very complicated lives and their sex lives are even more so.

I get to work before the protesters and leave after they have already gone for the day. The patients tell me about them. I look out the windows every once and a while and am amazed by how many people are out there. One of them pounded on a woman's car with his fist and rosary beads the other day. The woman was just coming in to get her birth control refilled. She was so frightened. The police ended up lining the street. It is an odd feeling to work at a place with such a strong security/police presence.

I am just amazed at how much better I feel making my own money again. I only make $13.00 an hour so it is not like I get these massive paychecks. However, the feeling of checking my bank account and seeing the deposited amount brings me such pride. I have worked since I was 14. It was nice to have a break, I won't lie, but I really enjoy working. Volunteer work served its purpose but I like making money, even if it is just a small amount. I really feel mentally better than I have in a very long time.

Doc is getting ready to go to court in March. The stress is really starting to get to him. He is not sleeping and is scared he is going to lose time with "our future." I do not understand why the ex wants to keep "our future" from Doc. The only thing I can figure is it is just a control thing. I have never met someone like her.

She always has a scowl on her face. I believe she is just perpetually unhappy and her only pleasure in life comes from other people also being unhappy. I still find it odd that she has been remarried since October and her new husband lives in a different house. "Our future" mentioned that he is supposed to move in this spring or summer. It is not like he owns his own house and stays with the Dunt. He just stays at his own house. All the time.

I find it odd. Maybe it is just me. There are certainly moments I think life would be easier if Doc and I lived in separate houses. Though one of the things I love about being married is going to bed everynight curled up beside my husband. It makes me feel safe, content, loved and wanted.

I have a very sweet husband. Things have been good if you don't count all the shit with his ex. My one resolution this year was to stop yelling when we fight. It has really helped a lot. I don't yell, he doesn't yell, it keeps us both from getting instantly defensive. He is a very loving and gentle man. He is a much nicer person than I am. There is no question that he can be a condescending motherfucker sometimes, but he treats me with such kindness. I don't deserve it. The way he looks at me sometimes just takes my breath away. This is a man who genuinely loves me.

I was hating that my life was revolving around his schedule, his children, Dunto's whims, but having this job has helped that feeling a lot. I am no longer sitting around waiting to find out what the courts are going to say, what Dunto is going to do. I should not have let it overcome my life, but I did. I am making positive changes and can mentally tell the difference.

My niece and I are getting ready to go to Cancun. I AM SO EXCITED. I can't wait to spend some time with her and I also can't wait to just be at the beach. As much as I love my husband and his children, I am excited at having a few days away. My niece and I have not gone anywhere together since Africa. I think this will be a wonderful and exciting trip!!

Life is good right now.

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